When Life Gives You Hope
by Pichu King
Summary: A young boy named Jose felt abandoned and tries to take his life away after he has had enough. However, once he recovers from certain death he meets a new family that will help change his life around. New friendships will spring up and a new relationship sparks that will test the meaning of family. OC/Jude/Connor
1. Chapter 1: Defying Death

**Welcome to my first 'The Fosters' story. I hope you enjoy and please leave reviews and favorites!**

**Note: Scene of attempt of suicide and interpreted abuse. Continue reading if you are ok with these delicate subjects. **

Sometimes, life gives you lemons and then you are supposed to make lemonade. But what is the case when you aren't given lemonade, but you are the lemonade itself. That you are what changes the world instead of you actually causing the action. And who even said that change was always a good thing! It wasn't for me…

* * *

Thunder is booming outside as I tremble in tears. My hands are still gripping the house phone as I awaited a response. All I hear is a clear ring of my death soon to come. The door behind me felt like it was going to fall any minute as I had my back opposing the force on the other side of the wall.

"What did I tell you what would happen if you didn't obey me!" yelled a crackling voice that slowly continued to repeat over and over in my head. Telling myself that my life was just a piece of trash ready to be crumpled and thrown away. I feel that I'm not loved by anyone at this point. I feel that I could easily slip away from this if I were just to do one simple step in my life. I looked towards the pills my foster "dad" would keep in his closet to be hidden. He would always drunken himself every night from work, take some pills for his little headaches he supposedly had. After that, you would understand the results would be.

My hands began shaking at the fact that my life could easily end if I just would do it. What did I have to live for anyways, after all there is nothing to live for. When I look around me, I see families either being happy with each other's presence, or they would continually argue with each other. I wish I had a real family, it didn't matter if they wouldn't get along as much, but I would still know that I had a family beside me no matter what to support me for whatever reason.

This wasn't the case, I was stuck here and I knew it was my time.

I reached over towards the bottle of pills that had tape over the label. I guess Randy didn't want the pills to be plainly obvious what the purpose was, even though he still covered the capsule with tape. The words of the brute become louder and louder behind me as I unscrew the bottle and begin to poor some pills into my hand. Few of the pills start to fall out of my hand as my anxiety increased even more inside of me.

"What the hell are you doing in there! Didn't I just tell you to get the fuck out!" yelled the scrappy voice of Randy as it penetrated through the door behind me. I begin to place one by one, the pill still on my hand into my mouth. Now, it was the final step for me, the step that would soon send me outside of this world and to maybe find somewhere better to live. Either to go in heaven, or to live another life. Right now, nothing of that mattered, I just wanted to be at peace. As the pills slowly descended down my throat, I started thinking of what my life would have been if I wasn't abandoned.

My eyes begin to close slowly as I just keep pushing the door with the last extra strength I had. My arms however couldn't take it as much as I wanted to. I lifted my shoulder sleeve to look at the many slashes that were made onto them. It was finally the time for me to leave. I begin to hear a huge thud and a voice screaming. It wasn't Randy… it was someone else. As I slowly slid down from the door to the floor, I started to smile. Tears began sliding from my eyes, however they were not tears of sadness. These tears are something that I hadn't felt for a very long time. The time before I was sent towards hell and experienced what not even the most infamous person in the world should feel. They were tears of joy.

As I begin to take a final few breathes of life. The door opens for me to see a blonde woman in about her mid-forties. She was in a police uniform which astounded me. My call never was able to reach them, I was cut off. She looked towards the pills, then towards me. She began yelling words across the hall which I couldn't depict. I slowly then began falling… into a deep sleep.

* * *

I feel like I'm falling, I guess this is how death feels like. The air bristled through my ears, giving me the satisfaction that I'm done with living. That I'm done with having to deal with the cruel world. I begin to open my eyes as I see a bright light, just within my grasp. Thing is, what was after this. There's always that speculation that if you see the light, you are going to heaven. But was it really the case. Did the light actually just mean that my existence is over.

"He'll be fine. We'll just need to put him on 72 hour surveillance" said a voice as I began opening my eyes. I began squinting my eyes from not being used to the light and saw the same exact police woman that I saw talking with a doctor who had a few papers in his hand. I looked towards my right and found a few balloons with a few saying 'Get well soon!' and other phrases I didn't bother to read. Why would anyone bring me balloons, I didn't know anyone that actually cared for me. She then nodded towards the doctor who then left leaving her with me. She wasn't in her uniform, instead she was in normal apparel…. Sometimes I wonder why I tell myself these things in my head. Oh well, at least no one is reading my thoughts.

"Hey there buddy, seems like you're okay" the woman said as he pulled a chair towards my bed I was lying in and sat down. "The doctor said you were very lucky to survive the overdose." I didn't know what to say. I just stared towards her, wondering why she even cared for me. She's a cop, she isn't supposed to care for what happens to people like me after they have to file their reports.

"Why are you here?" I ask. The words came out of my mouth in more of a monotone way, the way I didn't mean for it to come out.

"Well, you remind me of a few kids that I take care of" she replies ignoring my tone of voice. I know there isn't anyone that has been through what I've been through. But I choose to keep my mouth shut. "So you don't have anywhere else to go?" she asked me. I just shook my head. "Well since you need a foster parent at the moment, maybe you could stay with my family. We still have room for one more."

"I'm sorry, what?" I ask. Just right after I was in a situation where I wanted to kill myself, she wanted me to be in her family?

"What I'm trying to say is would you like to live with my family. I have a son who is your age to keep you company" she told me. I was really unsure about this, did I really want to live with another family after what happened a few days ago. Then again, this was going to be temporary… I think.

"Well… I've got nowhere to go" I begin as I look at the balloons that were to my side. "Did you bring me those?" I asked as she nodded.

"Well, my whole family did, they knew the situation you were in and my wife really wanted you to feel good. I told her what happened with you in the closet."

Wait, she's a lesbian? I've never met one before, well I never met someone gay in general. Then again, living with Randy had me sheltered in the house. The only time we would get out was when we went to church or to one of his family gatherings. Yeah, he went to church which very surprises me. You would think that some of the preachings there would have gotten through his skull. I really don't care if she is lesbian though, why am I to judge?

I also really didn't care that she knew that I tried to kill myself. That's what I wanted to do and I didn't care if someone would think of me differently of it.

"Oh… thank you" I respond trying to give her a slight smile as I try to get up, but then fall back to the bed.

"You need some sleep. I'll be picking you up tomorrow after the doctors are done taking care of you" she tells me as she walks towards the door. "Just behave yourself as we don't want that happening again… by the way. I didn't get to catch your name."

"Jose Garcia" I reply to her as she then nods.

"Stef Foster, well I hope you get well from everything that has happened to you."

As she closes the door behind her, I sigh as I look towards the mirror beside me. I was in a patient's apparel and my hair was slicked up in the front. My brown-toned skin was full of scrapes and cuts everywhere with some bruises here and there. I shiver at the thought of going through that once more.

"So this is what I've come to…" I tell myself as just close my eyes to sleep once more.

* * *

I wake up to find a black t-shirt and a pair of pants sitting beside me. I looked out the window the find that it was morning. Seems like I'm going home… The same woman from before comes in with a smile on her face along with another woman. Her hair was in curls and she was dark toned. She was holding hands with the police woman so I assumed that she was her wife.

"Hi there" she said with a bright smile. I couldn't help but smile, she seemed like someone that I would always wanted to meet. Someone that is the opposite of what I usually dealt with, cold-hearted asses. But maybe I was to judge too soon, for all I know it could all be an act just to have me as their slave.

"This is my wife Lena, she was the one who had the idea of bringing you the gifts" said Stef as I shook Lena's hand.

"Hi, I'm Jose" I tell her as we then break the shake and she brings the clothes that were beside me.

"Since the doctors decided to take you off the 72 hour watch after we talked to them about letting you go early, we brought you some clothes for you to change in" Lena said as she and her wife headed towards the door.

"We'll be waiting in the lobby. Whenever you are ready just head there so we can take you to your new home" Stef informed me as they both left. I gave a deep sigh as I then undressed and got into my new clothes. I don't know if I should actually go with this family. Maybe life would be easier if I just sneaked out of the hospital, never to be seen again. But… maybe this was my second chance to make a new family. To be able to finally enjoy life. I look towards the balloons that started to deflate, and then towards my clothes. They did seem to care about me… a second chance wouldn't hurt.

I descended down the stairs towards the lobby to meet up with Stef and Lena. We went to the receptionist to check out and headed towards the front door to head out. Once the fresh air of the wind hit me, it felt great. The feeling of the breeze sent shivers through my spine giving me a sigh of relief. Finally some fresh air, something that I wasn't able to feel while being stuck in the last foster home I was in. We then entered their van and headed off towards their house.

"Jose, you're 13 right?" asked Lena.

"Ya, why do you ask?"

"Well, we have a son who is you're age. Maybe you two can relate to each other and maybe help each other out in school. After all you two will be in the same grade."

"And don't worry if you feel like that you won't get accustomed to your new family. They'll love you to death" Lena added as we all couldn't help but laugh.

Now I wonder what would have happened if I didn't put myself into the hospital. Would I still be being taken to this new home, or will I just be sent somewhere else. I don't know, it really doesn't matter now. I look out the window to see all the clouds overhead us. Why do people like me have to suffer, why can't we just all have a fair life where no one has to suffer. I don't think I'll ever understand this. Soon the car came to the halt and I finally here the two words that will change my life forever.

"We're home."

* * *

**I hope you guys really like this. Feedback and favorites are really appreciated and will help encourage me to write more chapters for all of you! For now, leave any suggestions you would also like to give me with your feedback!**


	2. Chapter 2: Meet the Fosters

"The other kids won't be here for a while, they're at school. Jude will be coming in a few minutes, but everyone else may take two to three hours to get here from school" Lena informed me as she opened the door leading me into the living room.

"For now, you can stay in the living room until dinner" Stef continued as I just crashed on the couch, kicked off my shoes and stared at the ceiling. Yup, this is life. Get into a new home, stay here a few months while things get worse here. Another set of cops will come and the same thing will happen. Of course they seem like nice people, thing is I haven't got to personally know them.

I looked towards the T.V., looking at it in awe as it's a flat screen. I've never seen one before, and there's one of those game consoles right beside it. I don't know what kind it is, but I remember playing the N64 so I kinda had an idea what was used to play games. Nice house, that's really all I could say.

Maybe I should explore the house a little bit, you know to get an idea of what kind of people live here. I headed towards the stairs and walked up them. As I looked to my right, I saw many pictures of Lena and Stef with children. Many of them seemed like they were taken at birthday parties. The children laughing, smashing piñatas, and most of all, eating cake. I don't even remember when was the first time I actually have eaten a cake. Alongside them was family pictures, all the children seemed to be smiling along with their parents. What caught my eye was that there were only three children. Maybe this was before Stef and Lena got their other to children.

Once I reach the top of the stairs, I head towards the first room on my right. Pink plastered the walls and a few pictures of different guys were on the walls. Sometimes I wonder if girls even have a good tastes in guys, it's always about if they have a six pack and all the sexiness a guy has. Shouldn't we be looking at if a guy is sweet and kind? Well, I really don't care what girls think either way, if they like me or not. I decided to get out of the room since I really couldn't handle seeing another poster inside the room.

I head towards the next door and go inside. Inside is what seems to be where the school jock would crash at home. A few weights are on the floor and a pull-up bar is on the entrance of the door. I can't tell what the other person is like, all I could see is sports stuff like soccer posters. Seems like the other kid here keeps to himself much…

Reminds me of myself, not wanting to get too get to know people. I just never want to get backstabbed in the end. That's how I see the world, where people just manipulate others only to have them pay the price in the end. Seems like there are never happy stories in the real world, something that will stay true to me.

"So what are you doing up here mister?" I look behind me to see Stef who is folding her arms and giving me the eye.

"Umm… well…" I was just lost in words. How can I explain to a police offer that I was snooping through their kids' rooms?

"I'm playing around with you" she says snickering while I let out a sigh of relief. "Exploring a little?" she asks as I nod my head.

"Ya, I just wanted to see a little more. I was kinda bored down there sitting on the couch" I replied.

"You know we have a perfectly functioning T.V. in the living room you can use" she informs me.

"I'm not into T.V." I lie to her as she begins to snicker.

"Of course, no kid can stand T.V." she says making me smile. The whole house fills the house with a sudden ring of the doorbell. "And it seems like Jude is here, maybe he'll keep you company by playing video games? Unless, kids these days don't like playing them." I couldn't help but giggle to myself, she obviously knew I was lying about the whole T.V. thing. We both head downstairs to see a boy about my age putting his backpack beside the door. He had his hair similar to my style, spiked up in the front and had light skin. He directed a slight smile to me which made my heart stop for a little. I don't know why, but it felt a feeling that I had never felt. Maybe it's nothing, it'll go by… even though it feels so good.

"Hey" he said as the feeling grew a little stronger. I felt something in my stomach that I couldn't control, stupid stomach.

"H-hey…" I was barely able to mutter out. I look to my right to find Stef had left me. When I need someone, they aren't there which is never good for me. I look back to Jude and try to open my mouth, but then couldn't.

"So your name is Jose right?" he asks as I nod. "Well, my name is Jude. It's nice to meet you" he tells me as he shakes my hand.

Ok, at this point I feel like I'm going to die. I'm in the most uncomfortable position I've ever been and I can't even speak to him. Why is this even happening… just being around him makes me feel like this.

"So… umm… I will be going to school with you I guess" he tells me. And now I lost the feeling… and I'm going to school! I really don't want to go.

"Do I have to?" I ask as he giggles to himself as if I told him a joke. "What's so funny?"

"Everyone has to go to school, didn't you know that?" he asks me. Well, thing is there would be a lot of days I wouldn't go to school because I would have no way to get there since Randy wouldn't even bother at times. I had two choices, walk four miles, or stay home. In all honestly, I kinda do like school, well only the friends part. So at times, if I were in the mood I would just ask my neighbor to take me to school.

"Oh…" I just say as he gives me a look.

"You've never been to school before?"

"No, no! I've been to school… just that…. I really will have a hard time making friends" I tell him. He stares at me for a bit, as if he could tell something is wrong.

"Well… you can always hang out with me and a few of my friends."

"Thanks" I tell him being glad that I have someone to stick behind me.

"Do you want to play on the Xbox One before dinner?" he asks me as I nod my head. "Great!"

We head towards the living room and start up a fighting game. I picked the girl that seemed like she was from the CIA or something in that nature. Jude picked a green beast that looked like Hulk, except he had orange hair and can conduct electricity… how do they even make characters like this? Oddly enough, I was able to beat Jude by just smashing the ground with electricity… sometimes I wonder how this even makes sense.

"You let me win" I accuse as we both started laughing. I have to admit though, it was a fun game.

"I wouldn't do such a thing, I have a little reputation around the house of being the best at this game" brags Jude as there was a knock on the door. Lena came down running from upstairs and opened the door to let me hear two teens screaming at each other.

"Why the hell did you tell Emma!?" said the light-browned, muscular boy. It seemed that a vein would pop out of his head any second now.

"You were just dragging her along with your stupid little games! You had sex with both of them and you still want to play this little game?" yelled the blonde, brown skinned girl. It seems like she died her hair, not a bad color, but I think I would like it better in either brown or black.

"What's going on between you two?" asked Lena as more yelling that I couldn't understand filled the room. After a little more yelling, the boy ran upstairs and slammed the door. Jude just sighed and smiled a little.

"This is family" he says as I give him a slight nod.

"I guess" I respond as then the girl notices me.

"Sorry about that, you didn't need to see that. So you're Jose?" she asked as I nodded. "Well it's nice to meet you. I'm Mariana, and the heartbreaker upstairs is Jesus" she said smiling at me. "I still can't believe we are twins, but in the end, we're family."

Family huh, I wonder if they will ever be my family. So much is happening to me in one day that I could handle honestly. I defied certain death, I'm living with this family for a while that I don't even know if I'm actually going to live with them, and finally I feel weird feeling when I'm around Jude.

The family phone then rang and Mariana picked up the call.

"Ok… I'll tell moms" replied Mariana to whoever was calling and hung up. "Brandon won't coming home tonight for dinner. Anyways, I hope you feel like home here" Mariana told me as she walked towards the kitchen where Stef and Lena were preparing dinner.

"So…" Jude began as we both sat there in silence for a bit.

"So…" I replied trying to help bring up a conversation.

"Did my moms tell you where you're going to sleep tonight?" Jude asked me as I shook my head. "Well you can share a room with me and Jesus if you want."

I felt my face turn red for a moment and I felt my ears were turning hotter by the second. I seriously need someone to talk to about this, this feeling to me doesn't feel normal at all.

"Umm… why are you blushing?" asked Jude as I shook my head trying to regain what was happening at the moment.

"Oh, no reason" I lied to him trying to get away from the situation at hand. "Is that the only room in the house I can stay in?"

"Well there is always Brandon's room" Jude replied hesitantly, as if not wanting me to sleep in that room. Why didn't he want to tell me about Brandon's room in the first place?

"Would Brandon be ok if I slept in his room?" I asked as Jude shrugged.

"I don't know. Since he doesn't live here anymore, I'm not sure if he would be ok with that though."

"Dinner's ready!" yelled Lena from the kitchen as we both got up.

"I can just ask your moms while we eat" I said as I began heading towards the dining room.

"You mean our moms" corrected Jude as I looked back towards him.

"What do you mean? They are not my moms, they're yours."

"But you're part of this family now…" he began. I looked towards the floor, thinking about what he said. I was part of a family, a real one? I've always had to face things all alone, maybe this was the chance for me to actually have one… but I know I just can't keep my hopes up.

"Family huh." I lifted my face towards him, looking directly into his eyes. Looking at him makes me feel good, like the rest of my problems have gone away. "I like how it sounds."

"Good" he responds as I couldn't help but smile sheepishly.

* * *

"So how was everybody's day today?" asked Lena as we all dived into our dinner.

"The dance team and I were able to pull off a new number today" began Mariana.

"Well that's great honey, I hope you do great pulling off your number in the performance for next week's assembly" replied Lena.

"The practice better be worth it, your dance team took more than an hour practicing in the room" scoffed Jesus as Mariana gave him a look.

"I'm sorry if you feel that way, but from what I see your wrestling team seemed to enjoy it" shot back Mariana as Jesus glared back.

"How about you Jude, what happened at school today?" asked Lena ignoring the other two as Jude didn't respond. He was just playing around with his food. "What's wrong Jude?"

Jude then looked up towards Lena giving her the innocent smile he gave me when I first met him.

"Nothing, just thinking about things… School was ok, just the usual." As I looked over the table, I noticed that Stef wasn't with us.

"Where did Stef go?" I asked as both Jesus and Mariana left towards their rooms.

"Stef had to leave to report for the night shift she has to work today. She'll be back in the middle of the night" she informed me as I nodded. Being a cop must be tiring, working in a job that required as much of your energy as possible.

"Where am I going to sleep tonight?" I asked Lena remembering of the conversation me and Jude were having.

"Don't worry your little head about that. I already made sleeping arrangements for you where Brandon used to sleep. I hope you like it."

"Thank you" I replied as another knock on the front door filled the house as it echoed through the house.

"Seems like Callie is here from work" said Lena as she got up and headed towards the door.

"Callie?" I asked Jude as he nodded.

"She's my sister. Before we both came here, we were a mess. We would hop from foster home to foster home…" began Jude but he then stopped.

"It's alright" I began. "I know how it feels." Callie then walked towards the dinner table, her eyes seemed bloodshot from working and her black hair seemed frizzled from over exhaustion.

"Hey Jude" she said as she gave him a weak smile. "And you must be Jose?" I nodded my head.

"Ya… nice to meet you Callie" I replied to her.

"It's nice to meet you too" replied Callie as she sat down where there was a plate of food and began diving in.

"How was work today" asked Lena as Callie went up for air.

"Work was ok today… Lena I have to tell you something…." Callie brought up as all eyes were centered towards her.

"I saw Liam." Both Jude's and Lena's eyes seemed like they were going to pop out.

"Where did you seem him?" Lena said in a concerned tone.

"I saw him at work… he didn't say anything to me but I saw him stare at me…"

I was the only one that was lost in this whole mess. Who was this Liam guy? And what was the whole deal with him? I guess I wasn't going to find out soon since everyone was just in a state of shock.

"Jude… Jesus… I think both of you need to go up to your rooms. I need to talk to Callie for a moment" said Lena as we both nodded. We both made our way up the stairs as I saw Jude having little streams of tears go down his eyes.

"Jude… I don't know what's up with this dude, but I know that Lena will be able to fix it" I assured Jude as he nodded. Thing is I wasn't sure if everything was going to be ok in the end. I didn't even know what was going on and if it was in Lena's power to help. Either way, he mustered up a smile that I couldn't help but respond with a smile as well. The feeling was back again… maybe it was time to figure out what it was.

"Jude, can I ask you a question?" I asked as he nodded.

"Well, I've had a feeling which I've never been able to explain" I began. I looked back into his eyes, the feeling becoming greater. "Well this feeling is that I feel like I'm going throw up, but this feeling still feels good. That I have this fuzzy feeling and a sensation that fills through my body that makes me feel good… but I never felt this way before. Do you know what it is?" I asked as his eyes widened.

"Oh… it just means that you feel like throwing up" he responded hesitantly as I was a bit confused.

"But I know this isn't that… I've felt like this before I got here…" I lied maybe trying to transfix the feeling to someone fake. Maybe it's the fact that he may think it's when I feel around him. My suspension was correct as he sighed.

"Well… it can also mean you like someone…" My heart just basically stopped. Did I hear him right… no, no, no. Maybe he was right, maybe I do feel sick.

"Oh thanks" I said sheepishly as I walked into my room.

I saw that there was a queen sized bed for me just waiting for me to sleep on. I immediately jumped onto the bed, landing face flat onto the bed. The comfort of the bed just made me feel so good. I looked up towards the ceiling and then sighed. I seriously need to get my life in check, I couldn't tell that I was in love with a guy I just met. I'm just gonna say it, I can't wait for tomorrow. I get to go to school where I can put my life back in reality check. School will just help me find some friends who I can talk to… maybe even find a new love interest. I can't like Jude… of course he's sweet, kind, and cute… but I just can't think of him like this. I know he's not my brother, but I feel like family with him.

I slowly close my eyes, hoping that tomorrow will be another good day… well not as confusing as today.

**I hope you guys like this chapter! What do you guys think about how Jose thinks of everyone so far? And also how do you think he'll be in school? Favorite, Review, and PM me if you would like to give me any suggestions for the future chapters!**


	3. Chapter 3: Saved by Myself

I woke up to find myself in the presence of a blaring alarm clock. As I squinted to see the time, it read out 6:30. Lena must have placed an alarm clock in my room. I looked towards my right to find another set of clothes for me waiting for me. I dressed into my clothes and looked myself in the mirror. I slicked my hair more up using the gel still on my hair. While doing this, my anxiety inside me builds up as I think about school. I then put my hands to my face, sliding my hands down as I sighed.

"School is going to suck…" I told myself as I sighed. There was a knock on my door and I found Mariana there ready to go.

"Hey Jose" she told me as I gave her a slight smile towards her. "My mom wanted me to give you this, it's the list of classes you will be taking this semester." She handed me the list of my classes and found out that I had all AP classes.

"Umm… why do I have all advanced classes?" She just shrugged not knowing why. We both left the room and headed downstairs where the whole family was waiting for all of us. A huge buffet was placed in front of me as my eyes were astonished at the sight. Never have I seen this much food in my entire life, such beauty has gathered in one place.

"Umm… Jose are you ok?" asked Jude as I nodded my head.

"I think I'm in heaven" I replied as everyone started laughing. "What."

"Oh it's nothing. It's just that we eat like this every day" Lena informed me as my eyes were about to pop out. I couldn't handle holding back from eating, I just dived into the food and started eating. From fresh fruits to blueberry pancakes, I ate to my heart's content.

"Don't choke" Jesus said as he snickered to himself. Yup, he was the self-absorbed jock that I know and may forever hate.

"Don't listen to him, he's just a jerk" Mariana told me as she glared at her brother.

"I'm just trying to have some fun with our new brother, no harm no foul right?" he asked me as I shrugged.

"I guess" I replied as Mariana sighed and got up from the table. "I'll meet you all inside the car." She then headed out the door. Everyone then stared at Jesus as he just stayed quiet.

"I'm done too" I said as I grabbed my plate and put it into the sink. I left outside the door and headed towards the car and went inside. Mariana was sitting in the back listening to music.

"Mariana… can I talk to you?" I asked as she looked up from her iPod.

"Yeah what's up?" she asked unplugging her plugs.

"Is your brother always like that?" I asked as she nodded.

"He's been a jerk like always. I'm okay that he acts like that with me though. Thing is, you're new here and he's already getting on your nerves. I don't want that to happen to someone like you, you seem like a nice guy." She sighed as she then grabbed a backpack from the back of the car.

"Everything you will need for school is in here." I grabbed the backpack and placed it on my lap.

"Thanks…" I told her as I looked at the backpack. "For being a good friend."

"Naturally, we're kind of siblings now so don't sweat it" she assured me as I couldn't help but smile. Every second here, I feel more like family with everyone here. With the supportiveness of Mariana to Jesus' big brother attitude towards me, it feels like more like family to me. The thing is that… if I ever do become part of this family when Lena and Stef decide to adopt me, how am I going to deal with the feelings I have with Jude. I seriously need to talk to someone about this, or the family will get hurt in the end.

I look towards Mariana who was on her iPod once more. I needed someone I could trust, but could I really trust Mariana. Maybe… I just need to find a friend that I can to talk… not Mariana, but someone else.

* * *

"We're here" said Lean as well all got off the car.

"Why are you getting off?" I asked as me and Jude were walking towards the 9th grade building. I find it kind of weird for the grades to be separated in buildings, I'm used to everyone being bundled up in different buildings which had assigned subjects like English and Math.

"Well I'm the assistant principal here, so I work here" she told me as she stopped at an office with "Assistant Principal" painted onto the door. "Well I'll be seeing you two after school, behave yourselves" she told us as we were left in front of the door.

"So what class do you have first?" Jude asked as I took out my class list out of my backpack.

"It seems like I have Gym first…" I said as I sighed. Jude then grabbed the list out of my hand as he smiled.

"Seems like you won't be dealing with it alone, we both have the same P.E. teacher that period" he told me as a bright smile went across my face. Then I started blushing, knowing that I'm having gym with him.

"You're turning red again" he said as we both snickered to each other. If he only knew why I was turning red.

We both started heading towards gym… hoping that the day will be pretty good.

* * *

I was sitting in role call numbers along with everyone else. Since no one had a last name between me and Jude, I was assigned to sit next to him and were able to talk for a bit.

"So you've been in another foster home before this?" I asked as he nodded his head.

"Ya, thing is that my foster parent wouldn't treat me well at all" I told him. "I would get beaten from time to time by him. He would come home from work, stressed out and would take all his anger out on me." I then lifted my sleeve to reveal to him a huge scar that I had. His eyes told all, the sympathy he had for me easily showed.

"He did that to you?" he asked as I nodded my head. We both stayed quiet for a moment. I was thinking of all the times Randy has hurt me… the times where I couldn't stand up for myself and would be beaten to near death.

"Well… before I got adopted by my moms, me and Callie were treated like you. Thing is, we would always move from different foster homes, never being able to make real friends because we know we would lose them in the end. That was, until we met Lena and Stef."

"It seems like they're good people" I commented as he nodded.

"They are, and I know they will be there for you like they were for me." A loud screech of a whistle then entered my ears as I tried to cover them. I looked up to see a man in a P.E. uniform holding onto his whistle.

"Alright, now that I have your attention, we will be running a mile today" he said which caused many of the other students to groan. Honestly, I was ok with running. I actually really love to run, whenever I would have a chance of getting out of the house, I would run. It felt like I was just running away from all my problems that were on my shoulders.

"Head towards the finish line or you will do 20 push-ups" the teacher yelled as we all ran towards the field to run.

* * *

As I was running, I felt that my problems went away. That with each step I took in the moist grass, I felt that I was taking another step away from the pain and misery I would face every single day. The cold air breezed right through me, making my body shiver from time to time. This feeling just felt so great, the way everything made me feel was just so great.

I would pass others, one by one as I would soon come to be in the lead. The finish was right in front of me, the timer slowly counting. I took my final sprint, the wind hitting me harder as my heart started racing even more. The sensation I was feeling only made me want to go farther. I finally go to the finish line and reading off my time off the digital clock. 6:20.

That wasn't bad, but I knew I wanted to go farther than before. I looked behind me to find a few people barely coming to finish the line. A few seconds later, I found Jude finishing at 7:10. We were both panting at the moment as we walked towards the water fountain to regain our breaths.

When he bent over to get some water from the drinking fountain, my heart just stopped. These thoughts started entering my head as I tried to get them out with no success. I couldn't be thinking of these thoughts about him, it was just… wrong. He's sweet and all, but I need to look at him like my brother. He treats me like one and I need to look at him like one.

After what seemed like forever in my mind, he finally moved from the fountain and I got to take a sip from the fountain.

"I was wondering if you wanted to sit with me and my friends during lunch?" Jude asked as I got up from the fountain and nodded. I looked towards the gym where everyone was heading.

"I guess we've got to go dress out" I said as he nodded. "So where do we meet?" I asked him as he pointed towards a tree with a few benches around it that were close towards the beach.

"Right there, just don't forget" he said as we both headed inside the gym to dress out.

* * *

I looked towards the clock, waiting for lunch to come. As each second went by, I was getting more and more impatient with time. Why does it always seem like time goes slower when you are waiting for something, it's like time wants to torture us. I was sitting in English class, not really wanting to pay attention to what the teacher was saying. He was rambling on about how kids don't pay attention in class and read these days, and that's why the dropout rate is increasing each year.

Honestly, I think this all has to do with the style of the teacher's teaching. If they were to actually teach us and find a way for us to get interested into the subject, there would be less dropouts and more graduates. And making us read boring books isn't going to help, books like 'The Diary of Anne Frank' would interest so many people! It's about the holocaust, something that everyone will enjoy reading… well not enjoy since it's a really sad story but actually find it way more interesting than the books we are being made to read.

"Jose, what did I just talk about at the moment?" asked the teacher, noticing that I "wasn't" paying attention to his lecture about us students.

"You were talking about how students don't pay attention in class which causes the dropout rate to increase. Along with the fact that you included that since we aren't meeting reading requirements, we aren't able to actually be able to keep ahead in our English studies" I responded to him as he huffed to himself.

"Correct." Before he went back to his lecture, I decided to finish things off.

"Thing is teach, you don't know how to teach. Teacher's these days give us boring lectures, like you are now" I began. As I looked around the classroom, it seemed like everyone's eyes were about to pop out. They even seemed scared for me at the moment. "And another thing, if you expect for us kids to read, let us pick the book at our reading level. We want enjoyable books, not ones that will bore us to death. Simply put, you're a bad teacher."

"Head to the principal's office this instant!" yelled the teacher as I just simply shook my head.

"No, it's not my fault that you can't teach. If I feel something is wrong around here, I have the right to speak my mind."

Like on cue, the bell rang and the room was silent. I grabbed my backpack stood up and walked out the door. I looked back and nobody came out yet. It's as if I just killed someone in there and they're all in shock. Were they really that shocked, it seemed normal to me to stand up for yourself.

I just decided to ignore what happened in the classroom and walked towards the benches that were close towards the beach. There was Jude along with a guy and two other girls. The dude seemed pretty cute, I seriously double checked him. It wasn't the same feeling with Jude, but I still felt attracted to him. Maybe… I'm at the age of discovering myself. But I still am not sure about liking anybody at this point. The other two girls were on their phones, giggling to themselves as they pointed at their phones. Jude and the dude were actually talking to each other. There was… something rather odd though.

I felt like that they weren't really… looking at each other as friends. I had that strange feeling that it was a mutual attraction to each other. I can just see it in their eyes… honestly I am oblivious at times but I see something between these two but I'm not sure.

As I approached them, I was greeted with the smile of Jude.

"So you must be Jose" the heartthrob said as I nodded. "Well, I'm Connor. These two here are Maddie and Chelsea." He first pointed towards first the dark haired girl and then the red headed one.

"Wait did you say Jose" asked the dark haired one which I assumed was Maddie.

"You are the one who told off!" she yelled as they both surrounded me like cats on cat nip.

"Wait what?" asked Jude as even I'm astonished that these two knew.

"It's all over Facebook! Where have you two been?" asked Chelsea as I just shook my head.

"Well… seems like we found that hottest man on campus" added Maddie as I felt like my eyes were about to pop out. Did they just say that for just standing up for myself? I looked towards Connor and Jude and they both just shrugged.

"Umm… I think you guys are overreacting" I told them as they both shook their heads.

"I don't think so…" they both said in unison as they both started closing in on me.

"Padre mio…" I spoke to myself as both girls looked at each other.

"And he speaks Spanish too… muy caliente!" Maddie said, making me more nervous.

"Come one, I'm not that hot" I insisted as I walked back, only to bump into a tree.

"That's not what everyone is saying" Chelsea says as she holds out her phone. On the phone was a video of me defending myself in front of the teacher. Under the video were many comments… let's just say that they were being a little too nice.

"You're the hot guy on campus now" Maddie said as they both giggled to themselves.

"So… out of all the girls who are you going to date?" Chelsea asked.

"Excuse me?" I asked not understanding the situation at all.

"You heard her, since you're the man of the campus, you can date any girl that you want. Everyone wants you" Maddie explained as I sighed.

"I'm just not interested…" I told them as they both gave me a look.

"Excuse us?" they both said in unison. Why did I just say that. Next thing I knew, more people were coming my way. They were either clapping for me, or staring at me in awe. I felt like I was going to throw up, never have I been in a huge crowd like this. I looked towards Jude's way and I could see on his face that he felt sorry for me. Connor had the same face and he looked towards my way.

"Listen!" began Maddie getting the attention of all the students. "Supposedly Jose here doesn't want to date anyone. Can anyone believe that?" she asked as there were many "What?" and "He doesn't want to date?"

"Ya… I just don't want date…" I said as I looked over the girls. Many of them had shocked expressions on their face. I feel like I'm back in the classroom, not understanding why everyone was shocked.

"And why don't you want to date?" Chelsea questioned me as I stood silent for a bit. I looked over the girls, knowing that I'm not... attracted to them. I then look towards Jude and Connor, and I feel like my heart is racing even more than before. I knew for sure now… that I liked guys. But… was I really? That's what I need to ask myself.

"I already have a girlfriend" I lied as there were murmurs in the crowds. I didn't want them to know the true reason why I haven't dated any girls.

"Cutie, please don't lie to us. We all know that you are new here, so you can't have one yet" Maddie contradicted as all eyes were on me. What could I tell them, there was no way out of this situation… or was there.

I sighed as I then looked over the whole crowd.

"The reason I don't have a girlfriend is…" I began. I felt like my heart stopped, everything seemed still to me. I felt like that the last few words couldn't get out of my mouth. I then sighed as I looked towards the crowd.

"The reason is… that I'm gay."

* * *

**And Jose has finally come to his senses of his sexuality… kind of. Seems like he is still confused… it seems like he's confused with everything at this point. School was a bust for him, not fun. And he came out to the whole school… another reason to add to his list to why he should die. Anyways expect another chapter in a few days, so for now please review and favorite! It reminds me that I still have people reading and enjoying this story!**


	4. Chapter 4: Confusing Love

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the movies that are mentioned in this chapter. They belong to their respective owners.**

Everyone was just staring at me, as if they had seen a ghost or something. Many of them had their mouths ajar, as if trying to say something but the words couldn't come out. I looked towards Jude who actually didn't seem surprised about the whole thing. He just had his regular expression he usually has on his own face. It seemed as if he knew all along, maybe I'm just overreacting about it. After all, I feel like I'm in hell right now and I just feel like everything is just spinning around me. It just feels so horrible as I feel like I can fall anytime.

"You're…" began Maddie as she couldn't finish her sentence. I was just staring towards the ground and I really couldn't muster up the courage to answer her. I already have said it… did they really want me to repeat it. Slight murmurs began filling my ears as I tried to keep my heart from exploding.

"Excuse me" said a familiar voice as I saw Lena going through the crowds of children. "Jose, you're coming with me" she told me as I felt like the pressure off of me. I looked towards Jude, he was trying to word out something but I couldn't understand what he was trying to tell me. I walked behind Lena, receiving many stares from everyone. I still can't believe I came out, I just literally did it without a good reason. I guess I couldn't handle the pressure of everyone around me. We headed towards her office as she then looked back to me.

"Do you know why we are heading towards my office?" she asked me. I didn't respond, I knew why the thing is that I just didn't feel like talking at the moment. Everything that is happening to me today is just happening so quickly today. She then stopped at her door and looked at me and gave me a brow.

"Sorry… I was just thinking about some things" I told her as she nodded.

"Well, it seems like you didn't think when you talked back to " she replied as we both stepped into her office. In one of the chairs was , fiddling with one of the pens on the desk.

"You disrespected me right in front of my whole class and you had the nerve to leave the classroom before I dismissed?" he asked me as Lena sat at her desk.

"In all honesty sir, I believe you were disrespecting your students in the classroom" I told him as Lena then gave a look to .

"I don't know what you are talking about." He then huffed and shook his head. "No wonder why children these days dropout so quickly, no respect for adults."

"And that's all you talked about in class today!" I yelled back at him.

"Jose, calm down" Lena told me as she looked towards . "Is this true?"

"Well… umm…" Yup, he was speechless. He obviously didn't know what to say.

"Jose, I'll talk to you afterschool. As for you , we need to chat for a bit." I couldn't help but give him a smile which caused him to glare at me. "That doesn't mean you are off the hook" she replied as I was about to walk out the door. No wonder she wanted to see me after class, I was expecting more of an apology from , either way he was in deeper waters than I was with Lena. I walked out the door to find myself being stared at by everyone I walked pass by with some of them showing disgust towards me. I walked out the building and headed towards where Jude was along with his friends. The four of them were still there, except that Maddie and Chelsea weren't on their phones anymore and were gossiping to each other.

"Hey." Both Jude and Connor looked up with friendly smiles while Chelsea and Maddie didn't pay that much attention towards me… at least they aren't fighting over me again.

"So…" Jude began. He was playing with his fingers as Connor nudged him. "You're gay?" he asked. I just simply nodded, hoping for this awkward to be over.

"Well, we just wanted you to know that we're here for you if you need anything" finished Connor as he then looked towards the other girls. "Right?"

"Sure…" said Chelsea as she then looks towards Maddie.

"Well since I like someone else at the moment, I believe we can be friends" Maddie said pretty much confusing me. A sudden blare of a bell rang throughout the school as I sighed.

"And now I have to deal with more torture today…" I simply said as Jude got up from the table and put his hand on my shoulder.

"You'll make it" he said with a grin that made me again lose control of my heart as it started to beat faster.

"Yeah…"

* * *

I was in my final class, History. What a great way to end off the day by boring myself to death while learning about Presidents that I really don't care about. Honestly, shouldn't we be focusing on today's achievements in history? After all we have evolved from the past and are in the present. Once the final school bell rang, it was like music to my ears. I placed my backpack over my shoulders and ran for the door. As I passed Lena's office, I remembered that I had to talk to her. I stopped in my tracks, got my thoughts together, and walked into her office.

"You can sit right there" Lena said from her seat behind the desk as she pointed to a chair. I sat down as I placed my backpack right next to me.

"I've talked to and now it's time to talk to you. Jose, you have to understand that in no matter what case you can't talk back to an adult." She paused for a moment and resumed on. "I believe that you need to apologize to for talking back." I was speechless, did my ears just hear clearly of what she just told me.

"I'm sorry, I have to apologize to him?" I asked as she nodded her head.

"I'm afraid so. You cannot just say what you want in front of a classroom. Yes anyone can believe what they believe, but doing such a thing in front of a classroom." I just simply nodded and got up. "This is also you're only warning you'll get, any more disturbances and I will have to give you detention."

"Sorry, I'll behave myself even when people are wrong" I replied, hoping that she understood that I was also talking about her. I just don't understand why adults think that since they are older than us, they are 'wiser.' I believe that being older has nothing to do with it, but instead that you actually understand the situation itself and know right from wrong.

* * *

I was laying in my bed, hoping that the day would end. I finished all my homework, watched some T.V., and ate my dinner early. I looked to my left to see what my clock said, "6:00."

"My life is horrible…" I told myself as I covered my face with my pillow. I heard a knock on the door and the door knob turn. I looked up to find that Jude was there, all dressed in a cute outfit.

"I'm going to the movies along with some of my friends… do you want to come with us?" he asks as I quickly jumped out of bed and quickly got a nice shirt from one of the drawers Lena and Stef provided me. "So I'll take that as a yes?" he asked as I nodded.

"Yes!" I couldn't help but smile at him as we both stood there a few moments looking at each other. He then broke away as he then put on his jacket that he had with him.

"So what kind of movies are you into?" he asked me as we headed downstairs. I just shrugged. I've never watched much movies before, I just wanted to get out of the house.

"Comedy I guess" I told him as we opened the door to get outside and saw a car.

"Seems like Maddie's mom is here already" Jude said as we walked up to the car and got in. Inside were Connor, Maddie, and Chelsea talking to each other.

"So how about _World War Z_?" asked Connor as all the girls gave him the brow.

"I'm sorry, but we don't like things with gore" responded Maddie as she huffed. "How about _Finding Dory?_"

"But that's not even out yet" replied Jude as she sighed.

"Well, there isn't any good movies out right now. What can we watch?" Everyone looked at each other, waiting for an answer hoping that one of them would come up with one. I then remembered a movie that I loved absolutely, I couldn't take the chance of not mentioning it.

"Well… how about we watch _Mean Girls_? If one of us has the DVD at home, we can always watch it" I perched up as I looked at everyone and they seemed pleased with the idea.

"I have the movie, we can watch it at my house! Hey mom, let's head home instead" insisted Maddie as we headed towards her house.

The credits were rolling as everyone else was already asleep and it seemed to me that Jude and I were sleeping over for the night. I sighed as I grabbed the remote and decided to rewind the movie. Unlike everyone else, I didn't even feel like sleeping. Not even the slight feeling of fatigue. I was about to get up to get some food for myself, that was until Connor fell onto my lap, still sleeping.

"Umm… Connor" I tried to nudge him so he could wake up, but he was knocked out. I sighed as just placed my head back onto the couch. As I watched the movie again, I felt that Connor was snuggling up towards me, wrapping his arm around me. I felt my face turn red as I tried to squirm from him. I felt awkward as hell. I looked around to see if anyone has noticed, luckily for me everyone was sound asleep.

"Jude…" murmured Connor as he began exploring his hands up my shirt to my chest. I didn't know what to do, I was in shock. Did he like Jude… was he dating Jude? Either way, I didn't want anyone to find out that Connor was feeling me all over. I grabbed Connor and began shaking him. He woke up with a confused face.

"What the hell dude?" he asked as he tried to lift his hand, however my shirt was in the way. When he noticed, his eyes widened.

"Yup… you did that" I told him as he began blushing. "And you were calling for Jude…." I finally told him as he rubbed his neck and gave an awkward smile.

"I was…" I nodded and he began blushing even more.

"Are you guys… like a thing?" I asked as he shook his head.

"He doesn't know I like him…" We both stared at each other in silence as he then sighed. "Please don't tell him."

"Why would I tell him?" I asked as he shrugged. "Well, I promise I won't tell him."

"Thanks dude…" he said as we both smiled at each other.

"Umm… you can take you hand out of my shirt now" I told him as he quickly took his hand out.

"Sorry" he said as he rubbed his neck in embarrassment.

"It's alright…" I told him as we just both stared into each other's eyes. "So… you're gay?" I asked as he nodded.

"Ya… so far you are the first person to know that."

"Why did you trust me? You could have made another excuse you know" I told him as he shrugged.

"I guess it was in the moment, either way I trust you…"

"SHE DOESN'T EVEN GO HERE!" I looked towards the T.V., I guess I didn't rewind it all the way. I was broken from my trance, was I… it couldn't be happening.

"So why are you still awake, it's one in the morning" he asked me as a shrugged.

"I don't like sleeping much… I feel like I'm just wasting hours during the night where I can do anything" I replied to him.

"Like watching _Mean Girls _again?" We both started laughing to ourselves, trying to contain ourselves so we wouldn't wake anyone up.

"To keep me awake, but I do sleep if you're wondering." He gave out a loud yawn as he looked towards the T.V.

"Well, I guess I'll be watching some T.V. with you, I can't sleep anymore."

* * *

"No way…"

"So Connor is…"

I began to wake up, I saw Jude, Maddie, and Chelsea hovering over us.

"Hey what's up" I asked as Maddie gave me a brow.

"What's up? Seems like you playing around last night is what's up" Maddie told me as I was a bit confused.

"Look to your right." I looked to my right to find that a shirtless Connor was hugging me.

"Shit…" I told myself as I began rocking Connor. "Connor, wake up!"

"Urgh… what?" he asked as he wiped his eyes. As he adjusted to the light, he saw his friends looking at him. He quickly let go of me and was speechless. He tried to say something, but nothing seemed to come out.

"So… you two had some fun?" asked Chelsea as we quickly blushed.

"No, no, no!" I said trying to get away from the dirty idea they had in their minds.

"Then what happened?" asked Jude. He seemed the most affected by this. He was looking at the floor and he was playing with his hands.

"We…" began Connor as we sighed. "We just slept with each other. There's nothing much to it."

"Connor, you can tell us the truth" Jude assured Connor as he sighed.

"Well… we made out for a bit… but that's how far it went" Connor said the girls sighed.

"So you're bi?" asked Chelsea as Connor shook his head.

"No, I'm… gay." Chelsea and Maddie looked shocked, Jude on the other hand didn't show that much expression.

"So you two are dating now?" asked Maddie as me and Connor looked at each other.

"I don't think so, I thought it was just a one night thing" I said as Connor nodded.

"Ya, we were kind of in the moment. After all, we both knew we were gay and we were still awake" added Connor.

"So we kinda decided to… have some fun." There was a huge silence in the room as we exchanged glances to each other.

"Well, we have no problem with you being gay. Right Chelsea?" Maddie asked as Chelsea sighed.

"I guess so… seems like every guy I like is turning gay…" Chelsea revealed as Connor blushed a little.

"Well you'll find another guy that isn't gay" assured Connor as Chelsea's spirit was risen.

"Thanks, you're okay with this too Jude. Right?" Jude nodded trying to bring up a smile.

"Ya… I'm okay with it." Connor grabbed his shirt and began to put it on. The girls were admiring his defined body. He did have a great body, I have to admit… but I just like him for just him. Seems like I'm one of the few people who think that way.

* * *

I was lying in bed, thinking about what happened last night. How when his lips touched mine, I felt sparks flying everywhere from my body. And when he entered my mouth with his tongue, the sensation overfilled me with pleasure. I've never felt this way before, never have I been so confused about my feelings in my entire life. I hope things would turn out… good in the end. After all, I just wanted a normal life for me, I guess that wasn't meant to be.

"Dinner's ready, come down when you want to eat." I looked up from my bed to see Mariana brushing her hair.

"Thanks" I told her as I got up from my bed and walked down to the dining room table. Again in front of me was a buffet. Instead of being all happy and joyful for the amount of food, I was more quiet. I couldn't get Connor out of my head.

"So, how was everyone's day?" asked Stef as I sat down at the table. Everyone was there, including another boy who I presumed to be Brandon. No one spoke up, seemed like something was eating at them as well.

"Okay then, how about the sleepover you two had?" asked Lena directing her attention to me and Jude.

"Well, we decided to head to Maddie's house. We watched a movie and just slept there for a bit" Jude told Lena as she raised a brow.

"Was there any funny business going on?" asked Lena as Jude laughed.

"Of course not mom, there wasn't" Jude lied as I couldn't help but rub my neck.

"Well as long as you guy had fun, that's all that matters. Anyways, we have an announcement to make" Stef said as the whole table exchanged glances at each other.

"We're having a babymoon" announced Lena as I was a bit confused.

"What is a babymoon?" I asked.

"Well it's like a honeymoon, but it's when you are taking a baby with you" replied Lena. I was a bit confused, I didn't understand why she was having a babymoon. I didn't see any baby around.

"Where's the baby?" I asked as Lena pointed towards her stomach. I couldn't help but oh at the situation.

"Anyways, since Brandon is staying here tomorrow, he will be in charge along with Callie with the house." Both Callie and Brandon exchanged glances to each other.

"Honey, are you sure you want to leave the kids alone in the house?" asked Stef as Lena nodded.

"You don't have to worry honey, I think they are old enough to take responsibility? Right?"

"Right" we all said with uncertainty.

"We'll be leaving tomorrow. One rule I need you all to follow, you cannot invite anyone over" Stef informed us as we nodded. "We'll be upstairs getting ready if you need anything." They both headed upstairs, leaving us kids to eat.

"I'm inviting my band over tomorrow, just don't tell moms" said Brandon as Callie glared at him.

"Lena said we can't and we have to follow her rules. We'll get in trouble" Callie responded as Brandon shrugged.

"That's only if she finds out" replied Brandon as Callie sighed.

"Fine, just don't let any of them steal anything." Callie went up to her room as we were all there in silence.

"Are you guys inviting anyone?" asked Brandon as Mariana's and Jesus' brightened up.

"Ya, I'll just invite the Dance Team over" Mariana said as she took out her phone and bean texting her friends. Jesus took out his phone as well and began texting some people as well.

"It's settled then, we're having a party." I looked at Jude with an uncertain look as he rubbed his neck.

"Well everything will be ok… right?"

* * *

**And there we have it, another chapter for you guys to enjoy. I've planned ahead a little, already planning out the ending along with the sequel to come after this. If you would like to leave any suggestions, please review . Also if you can please Favorite and Review if you like the story so far!**


	5. Chapter 5: The Flash of Past and Present

"Okay… all we need are some cups" announced Brandon as he tucked away his list inside his pocket. Everyone was in the backyard while Jude and Callie were inside. Jesus was setting up the table while Mariana was getting out the food. I was there looking at all the decorations. Streamers were decorated throughout the yard and the music stage was already set up. I was staring at my phone intently as I was playing some game that had me roam throughout a city while running from a police officer. Lena gave me the phone yesterday before leaving during the night, I guess she must have forgiven me for snapping at the teacher and didn't even mention it. Thing is I'm still going to have to ask forgiveness from him when I go back to school… great.

"Hey Jose." I looked up at Brandon who walked over to me and gave me a five dollar bill. "Can you run over to the liquor store and buy some cups? I'm pretty busy right now."

"Sure" I said as I looked at the dollar bill. The way that felt the crinkled paper felt on my hand was a sensation that I hadn't felt for a long time…

* * *

"_Jose can you come down!" As I began to open my eyes, I felt my eyes burn as I tried to adjust to the brightness of the room. It seemed like mom had opened the window blinds. I yawned as I got up and jumped out of bed. I looked towards the mirror to see that I was still dressed from the party I was at the day before, seemed like I was knocked out before I even got home._

_I put on my shoes that were under the bed and headed directly downstairs. The cold glossy feel of the stair handle felt like an assurance of home to me, that I was where I belonged. Once I reached downstairs, I was welcomed with the sweet smell of syrup on buttermilk pancakes. My mother was in the kitchen putting the pancakes onto plates and taking them into the kitchen._

"_Sleep well sleepy head?" my mother asked as I nodded. I sat across from my mother as we both dived into the succulent pancakes. The only sound that filled the room were the sounds of our forks and knives clattering. "Are you glad that you're going to 2__nd__ grade soon?" I looked up from my plate and gave her a huge smile. _

"_Ya mommy!" I replied as she smiled back at me. While we continued back eating, I was thinking about school. All my friends were waiting there and so was my best friend. Every time I was with him, I felt great. We shared little kisses here and there when nobody was around. It felt so great. I told my mom about it, but she made one of her faces. She just told me that she would love me no matter what. I didn't understand what she meant by that, but I just smiled back. I can't wait to see him again!_

_The home phone rang and my mom's eyes showed that there was something wrong. I didn't know what was happening, but I decided to just keep eating. She got up from her chair and headed towards the phone slowly. She slowly picked up the phone and raised the phone towards to her ear._

"_H-hello" she said in a shaky tone. I've never seen her like this, never. I decided to ignore it as there was a long silence in the room. As soon as I finished my breakfast, I noticed that my mom had tears already streaming down her face. She then hanged up and headed towards her bedroom. I hopped off my chair and followed her upstairs. I heard some rustling from inside her room and found that she was packing up some of her clothes._

"_Mom…" I said as she looked up and grabbed a blue bag and tossed it in front of me._

"_Honey can you please take that?" she asked as I nodded. As I began putting on the backpack I asked…_

"_Mom… what's wrong?" She looked at me with despair in her eyes as she sighed._

"_Don't worry honey, just do what mommy tells you" she replied to me as she zipped up her bag and strapped it around her back. There was a sudden knock on the door as my mother stood there in silence._

"_Oh no…" She grabbed my hand and ran towards my room. She locked the door behind her and began pushing my homework desk towards the door. I didn't know what was happening, everything just seemed so fast to process everything. _

"_Who's knocking" I asked as she ran towards the closet and began bringing out my drawer that was inside. "Umm... mom?"_

"_Honey... I need you to hide here" she said with more tears flowing down her face._

"_But why?" I murmured out as she sighed. She seemed as if she was quaking in her feet. _

"_Please, just listen to me. I need you to hide here." She stepped out of the closet to reveal a little door inside._

"_Mommy… I'm going to be by myself?" I asked as she nodded._

"_Yes honey… but I'll be back. Don't worry about me" she said as she tried to muster up a smile._

"_Okay!" I said as I went towards the door and held onto my backpack. As long as I knew she was going to be back, I knew everything was going to be ok. Thing is I don't understand why my mom was crying. Maybe it was just nothing, something that really didn't matter._

"_If I don't come back in time, I'll make sure someone comes back for you" she said as she took out a dollar bill. "But just in case no one does come back… take this." She brought out a few dollar bills._

"_What do you mean about if you don't come back?" I asked as she placed the dollar bills into my hand. As she placed the bills into my hand, she gripped my hand with an assuring grip._

"_Don't worry about that… for now. If I don't get back in 10 minutes, use that money to get to grandma's house. Ok?" I nodded as she then embraced me in a hug. I could feel her love for me as she gripped my harder and harder. "Just don't forget I love you…" She then grabbed my hand and held onto it. "Keep this money safe… do it for me."_

* * *

I looked at the money once again and sighed. I was never able to use that money for a bus… or even to get to my grandmother's house. I just wasted it and now have nothing to have as a memory of my mom. I entered the house to find that it was now changed. "Warning" police tape had many entrances of the rooms blocked off along with different warning signs taped onto the rooms of the house. Inside was Callie talking on the phone while Jude was posting up another warning sign on the closet door.

"Hey Jude." He waved towards me as he placed the final strip of tape onto the door. "Can you come to the liquor store with me, Brandon gave me some money to buy some cups for the party."

"Sure" Jude said as he turned to face Callie. "Hey, can I walk with Jose to the liquor store?" Jude asked as she nodded before returning to her conversation on the phone.

* * *

"That will be $5.99 please." I handed the cashier the money as I grabbed the bag of cups and walked out the doors of the store. As soon as the cold air hit me, I had a sigh of relief. "You know… life can strike you down from time to time. But, when you get to enjoy life it feels like all your problems just disappear." After walking a while, Jude stopped in his tracks and looked towards me.

"You're… really confusing" he told me as I nodded.

"I know. I really am like that" I began as we stopped at a street light. "I feel like I get it from my mom at times… I don't remember her much though."

"What happened with you and your mom?" he asked as I shrugged.

"I don't know, I've never got to really know her." I decided not to go further in detail, I didn't want to talk about how I was left alone in the house, never to see her again.

"Oh…" he said as we both stood there in silence. "I'm sorry, I didn't know."

"Don't worry, I don't talk about her much in the first place" I replied as the street light turned green. We began walking once again continuing our conversation, however the conversation would be something to remember.

"Do you like Connor?" Jude asked out of nowhere as I was dumbfounded. Where did this come from? This was just a sudden, but I still didn't know how to answer his question.

"Well…" I began. I looked up at his face and sighed. He had an innocent face, I couldn't tell him I was maybe in love with his best friend. "I'm not sure…" I confessed to him. "I feel a spark with him."

"So… you like him more as a friend?" he asked me as I sighed.

"Maybe, I'm just not sure about my feelings yet with him." He nodded as we kept walking. I may be oblivious at times, but I knew there was something up with Jude.

"Jude… what's up?" I asked as he shook his head.

"Nothing" he replied to me as he stopped. "Just don't' worry about it." As we walked, I noticed that he was slouched while we walked. I knew what was up now for sure. Once we got to the door of the house, I stopped him before we got in.

"You like him, don't you?" I asked as he kept quiet to himself.

"Please, just let me go in" he said as he pushed through me and got inside. He went upstairs while maneuvering through all the police tape.

"And he's pissed at me" I told myself as I went towards the backyard of the house. Seems like everyone was doing their own thing since no one was there. I noticed that there was a cooler so I decided to lay the bag of cups next to the cooler. My stomach began growling which caused me to hold onto it.

"Urgh… maybe there's something to drink in here" I told myself as I opened the cooler. Inside were a mix of alcoholic drinks and soda. I quickly dropped the cover of the cooler and slowly backed away.

* * *

_The closeted space seemed to give me a lonely feeling as minutes passed by inside the hiding place. I could hear screaming from outside where I was, treacherous screams that filled my ears. I knew who they were, thing is I hoped that it wasn't true._

"_You and your drunken ass is what keeps you away from your son!" Those were the last words I've heard from my mom as I heard a huge thump and some laughter._

"_I'll find him, if that's the last thing I do…" I heard a husky voice followed by footsteps heading downstairs. Once I heard the front door of the house close, I quickly exited out of the hiding place. The sigh that I soon saw was just unimaginable. My mother was lying there, not how she would usually sleep but the way I saw a few days ago when I went to my grandfather's funeral._

_I felt my body shake as I fell to the ground, my hands were trembling and I felt tears rushing down my eyes. It was just recently when I learned about death, and now my mom was right there dead. Her body not moving at all. She promised she would be back for me, I just never expected her to come back like this. I looked to the right to find a beer bottle that was left behind from the man that was there. I've seen them in a party a little while ago and have seen what it does to people. Thing is… out of everyone why did my mom have to die._

_I was now lying on the ground, sobering lifeless tears of mine as I felt my life has ended as well. I wasn't thinking about calling the police, not thinking about school, not thinking about going to my grandmother's house. All I was thinking about the times I had with my mother._

_Every Saturday we would walk to the park and have some ice cream. I remember how the melting ice cream would drizzle down my lips as the savoring taste of strawberry filled my mouth. I would look towards the setting sun as we would enjoy the time we would have with each other. From time to time, her phone would ring causing her to keep on hanging up the calls. I never got to know who this person was, I really didn't care at the moment either. I just wanted to spend time with my mother._

_As I came back from my thoughts, I looked over to the beer bottle once more. I felt an anger growing through me, I knew that no sane person would just kill my mother like that. She would have never done anything wrong to upset someone…_

* * *

"Seems like no one understands what it can do to you" I told myself as I opened the lid of the cooler once again and grabbed all the beer bottles that were inside. I decided to hide them in the bushes, looking behind me hoping that no one was looking at what I was doing. As soon as I got up, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I looked back to see Callie with her shoulders crossed.

"What are you doing?" she asked in a serious tone as I felt some sweat going down my cheek.

"Nothing" I replied as she looked around me and found the beer bottles there.

"Have you been drinking these?" Callie asked as she held up one of the bottles.

"I don't drink" I replied coldly as the image of me drinking appeared in my head. It was a horrible sight, I can't stand people drinking.

"Then why are you hiding these bottles in the bushes?" Callie questioned me as I didn't know what to say. Did I really have to rat out that someone in the house had alcohol for the party. I was playing with my feet and looking towards the ground as I sighed.

"Because I don't want anyone to get hurt tonight?" She looked back at me with a confused look as I went towards the cooler that was near the table of refreshments and opened it. There I grabbed the chilled beers on my hand and showed them to Callie. Callie had a stunned look on her face as she laid her eyes on the bottles.

"Do you know who brought them?" she asked me as I shook my head.

"Brandon's not going to hear the last of it…" she muttered out as she walked towards the house, grasping onto the bottle she had in her hand. I was left behind, only to think of what was to become of Brandon's party. From what I knew, it was going to be a little party… but knowing this family it will turn out differently.

* * *

Both Jude and I were looking out the window seeing the party commence. My predictions were correct, many more people were here than there were supposed to be. I looked towards Jude whom had a bit of desperation on his face. We haven't talked after the little conversation we had coming from the store.

"Jude…" He didn't turn, he just stared outside in an emotionless state. "I'm sorry if I offended you in any way… but do you like Connor?"

"I don't want to talk about it" he replied as there was a knock on the door behind us.

"Come in!" I called out as Chelsea and Maddie entered the room.

"Hey!" they both greeted us as they entered the room.

"Jude, you alright?" asked Maddie in a concerned tone noticing Jude's sadness. I shook my head as I walked up to them.

"Something is up with him, he just needs a little space right now" I told them as they nodded.

"So… what do we do now?" asked Chelsea as there was a moment of silence in the room. We all exchanged glances at each other thinking of what to do now.

"How about Spin the Bottle?" asked Maddie as I shrugged.

"As long as everyone is okay with it" I responded as Chelsea nodded her head. Jude however was still staring out the window. "How about you Jude?" He looked back at us and nodded.

"Sure…" he said as he mustered up a smile. There was something still off about him, something I didn't know. "But we don't have enough people" he continued as Maddie sighed.

"I guess one more person would do it" Maddie insisted as there was a knock on the door. Callie opened the door with Connor next to her.

"Connor dropped by" said Callie as the girls in the room began smiling. Seems like they can't get a hint yet, can't they. Jude seemed actually a little more lightened up than he was before. "Also, I have to talk to you Jose." I got up from sitting at the window and headed into the hallway with Callie. She carefully shut the door behind her as she gave me a stern face.

"Do you know what happened with Jude, he isn't himself lately?" Callie asked me as I shook my head.

"No" I replied as she lifted her eyebrow, not believing what I was saying. "Maybe…"

"Spit it out then, what's up with Jude!" Callie questioned me as I gulped. She was pretty scary to me, especially when she wants to protect Jude.

"Like I said maybe, but I'm not sure" I began as I looked towards Jude's room. "But I think if what I think is true, it'll be better if you hear it from his mouth."

"But why can't you tell me, after all you're not sure if it's true" Callie protested as I shook my head.

"You wouldn't understand why I don't want to tell you unless I actually told you."

"Okay…" Callie said as she nodded her head. "Just take care of my little brother for me, I don't' know what's going up with him but I just need someone there for him if I'm not there to help him."

I nodded my head as she gave me back a slight smile.

"Umm… Callie the toilet got clogged" yelled a rough voice as Callie sighed and put her hand to her face.

"I'll be right there Wyatt!" Callie called back as she ran down the stairs. I hope that Jude will be okay in the end, after all Connor likes both of us and someone's going to get hurt. I walked back into the room where all four of them were in a circle with a phone in the middle. On the screen's phone was a bottle with a Start button beneath it.

"Are you ready?" asked Maddie as I got into the circle. I nodded, she then pressed the start button… causing the virtual bottle to spin quickly as it then began slowly, slowly, coming to a halt.

* * *

**Sorry for the long update, many things have been going on in my life not letting me any time to write this chapter. But here you go! Now, I stopped here because I wanted to hear some predictions of what you have! What do you believe will happen during the Spin the Bottle Game? Anything can happen. Anyways, please Favorite and Review!**


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